Our Christmas Letter - Holtry Style

Here is the Christmas letter for 2008 - Brent came up with this and I think he did a great job.

The Book of Brentifer

CHAPTER 15
Behold, it was the fifteenth year since Brent the son of David and Jen the daughter of Mick were wed and the season was upon them once more.
2 And behold, the last born man-child, Jackson, had grown strong and mighty, for a two year old. For behold, the young child had started his earthly existence with many challenges and afflictions, but the Lord has blessed him greatly and he is today a healthy young child. For verily, he does babble all the day long, and dost hop on his pop, but his pop dost exclaim, STOP, you must not hop on your pop.
3 And lo, Hannah did sing praises all the day long. And at first the inhabitants of the land were joyous at the sweet sounds from the innocent youth, but verily, the inhabitants did tire of the constant singing and became weary. And it came to pass that the inhabitants did entreat the young, self proclaimed, princess to cease her merriment, but she was slow to hear their pleading, and the inhabitants did murmur.
4 But behold, Hannah did listen and decided that there were many enjoyable new talents she could develop. And so she began to read and write and spend her days with the other children at school, and she did love it.
5 And behold one day, Brent did take Hannah to the top of a tall hill, and Hannah did say, how shall I get down from this hill. And her father said unto her, see this bicycle that I have, you will ride it down. But she said unto him, I know not how to ride a bicycle. And he said, you will sit on the bike and I will push you down the hill and when you reach the bottom you will know how to ride. And notwithstanding the much protesting and screaming, it was so, even as he spoke.
6 And Joshua, having been born of goodly parents, therefore, he was taught somewhat in all the humor of his father; and having played many video games in the course of his days, nevertheless, he did grow up to be an obedient and sober child. And he did develop great skills in the art of prohibiting the soccer ball from entering into goal, and his team did rejoice and proclaim such things as, Josh is the greatest goalie, and Holtry on fire.
7 And it came to pass that Jen did grow, or I should say that she did shrink. And many people did accuse her husband of spending his days with another woman. And they would that he should be stoned, but he did testify that the woman was indeed his wife and they did look again and saw and did bear record that his testimony was true, and they did put down their stones, and gloried in the mighty accomplishment of Jen.
8 And it came to pass that Brent did labor in the cubicle, and after a time, the lord of the cubicles could not be found, neither in the early morning nor in the evening. And after many months, Brent and the other laborers didst say one to another, this is a strange thing that we should be here for these many months without the knowledge of the lord of the cubicles, therefore, let us rise up and become lords unto ourselves.
9 Therefore, they did that which they had discussed, and did give unto the lord of the cubicles that which was due to him and they did become equal heirs of the cubicles, and they did rejoice.
10 And it came to pass that Jen, the wife of Brent did command her husband saying, build me a pool of water that I may refresh myself when the sun is high. And he was obedient unto his wife and did cause that his menservants should build the pool of water. And he did begin early in the year so that the pool of water would be complete when the sun was high and the earth was hot.
11 But behold, when the time came that the sun was high and the earth was hot, Jen did say unto her husband, where is the pool of water, for I am hot even unto perspiration and am in need of refreshment. And Brent said look, and she looked, and he said, what dust though see? And she said unto him, I see a large and ugly pit. And he said unto her, that large and ugly pit will one day be a beautiful pool of water, but this day thou shalt suffer and not be refreshed.
12 And it came to pass that after the space of many days, the pool of water was complete and Brent did say unto his wife and children, go and enjoy the beautiful pool of water. But they said unto him, verily we would have liked to enjoy the pool, but behold, the sun is no longer high in the sky and we are no longer in need of refreshment. And the man didst sigh a great sigh.
13 And now I would that you should know that many things did happen which can not be written, for the space is small and my time is short. But as we ponder and celebrate the miraculous events of our Saviors birth, our hearts are filled with gratitude toward Him and toward all of our loved ones. And we want you to know that we do love you all and do appreciate the family and friends that do love and support us. And we do hope and pray that you all will have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
14 And now, the greater part of the dealings of this family can be found at http://www.theholtrys.blogspot.com/, and questions, comments or friendly greetings may be emailed to theholtrys@gmail.com. Amen